I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
