I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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