Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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