She said her name was "party"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
