oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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