I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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