Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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