That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
