i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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