Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
