I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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