Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I party with great urgency now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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