I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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