You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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