franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Houston, we have a blender
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
