i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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