Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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