Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
