My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
