It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
