Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
