you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
