If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Randomize
