when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
