I'm eating all of the evidence.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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