he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
