you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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