Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
