yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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