I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
