I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No I am not eating basil off your cock
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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