their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
