glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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