I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
