Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
