piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
