PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
