you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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