i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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