I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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