forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
