great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
