I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
