You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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