I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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