WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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