If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
