goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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