Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
