I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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