My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
