I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
